Making Happiness

Lost my calendar book on my desk again. Did my first 24 minute walk today. I wanted to run, but my back is really hurting, top to bottom. My legs feel great as does my neck and shoulders. At times like this, usually because of stress and diet, my back just hurts. I am not taking Ibuprofen these days because I want to have a good read of what's going on in my body. I just keep telling myself that if I take it slow I am going to get over the "sore back" hurtle and I will be able to start running. It's the bounce that is unbearable.

So this morning I found a great quote. It really articulates what is going on for me right now. Sometimes I just type phrases into the Google bar and see what comes back. I was looking for TV work and then I typed something about happiness. Here's what I found.

Finding happiness is like finding yourself. You don’t find happiness, you make happiness. You choose happiness. Self-actualization is a process of discovering who you are, who you want to be and paving the way to happiness by doing what brings YOU the most meaning and contentment to your life over the long run.

David Leonhardt

This is from a site called Half heartedly. I really liked it. There were a number of interesting things on the site. This though, really spoke to me. As I was walking I thought I am making happiness. That made me smile.

The best thing about this blog is the encouragement. Thank you to everyone sending comments here and on Facebook. I had hoped that having this blog and really naming my goal would be like something that happened for me when I was on my high school swim team. I wanted to do the 100 meter butterfly at event we were having at the school pool. Can I just say that I know how to do the stroke, and that's about it. At the time I did not have the stamina for it. Anyway the coach said I could, so I went for it. I was hurting after the first two laps (four total for 100 meters). At the third lap I felt like quitting. After the turn into the fourth lap, I could see the other swimmers were getting out of the pool. And I will admit, I was ready to give up, but then my teammates were cheering me on. It was some serious burn down that final length and I kept thinking that I could just stand up, but then I would take a breath and see my teammates cheering. I managed to finish and in the end it was the cheering for me that really kept me going. Right now it's that same moment. Life, running, making changes, it's all hard, but the kind words and encouragement really help.

Awakening Joy quote: Feel your feelings (without getting lost in the story).

Dedication Building...

Today I think I have moved into a new place mentally and physically. I have rented an office space...yes, personal validation that I could be a writer! A smokin' deal at $125 per month with WiFi access. This is a place that I found out about after the other place, but I digress.

So this morning while I was thinking about my day and planning when I would be painting my new office space and I was also wondering when I would do my 21 minutes. Snow is expected and even as I write this it's now raining again.

Then I thought: I should do my 21 minutes first, even though it's nasty out. Wow, now that is a change. The process is starting to feed me. Today is day three of my training for the week and my goal was to do all three days and not whanny out. I did it!

So a few pictures from my walk. I just made it back, it's really raining now. My finger with the stormy sky above Goldwater Lake. Sadie, my happy dog. I decided I need to start training her to be on a leash with me, so that on those dark cold mornings I can take her with me and I won't be afraid. Usually we take a hike in the Prescott National Forest and she is off-leash beyond our backyard. Since she is just over two she really has the energy for running. I think she will be a big incentive on the coming cold mornings of long training.

And finally me in front of our new porch, which is in the process of getting painted. See the scary steps from before and now the lovely porch. Life is really quite wonderful.

The other thing that is so cool about today: I blogged right after I did the 21 minutes and now I am heading to my office (to paint it). Next week I plan to be writing in my office. Other good stuff: I found and wore a pair of running pants that I had bought for my marathon process nine years ago. One less thing I need. Life is good.

Awakening Joy quote: Mindfulness is the art of appreciating the moment just as it is.

Flounder Is That Really Just A Fish?

Not sure what day I am on. I need to find my book. So a brief check in...

Flounder it's what 's for dinner. Monday found out a friend had died unexpectedly and worried all day about other friends in the path of Sandy. Could not quite figure it out to get in my 18 minute walk. 

On Tuesday went to the Peavine Trail and walked two miles. Relaxed and got myself back on track.

Wednesday did my 18 minutes and found out when the memorial for my friend was. Also called about office space. Something I have been dreaming of for quite sometime. Made an appointment to see the space.

Thursday went to see the office space. Loved it and can afford it once I have some writing gigs. Went to the memorial. Read my email and found out that two big jobs I have applied for...well let's just say I am not a contender. Talked to hubbie about the office space. Cried some too. Boohoo life is hard. Maybe we can squeezed out the money to get me going in the office space. It's pretty tight right now. $180 is a lot for us. Frankly, I could use a little hope and total quiet. The dishes that need washing just outside the door of the shared office I have with my husband are making it impossible to write or think. I really need to GO TO WORK, as in go to an office, as in get dressed, make a lunch and leave my home EVERYDAY (Monday thru Friday). 

Friday, today trying to figure out how to grow up. I did walk 18 minutes around the park here at Goldwater Lake (where I live) and then up the hill. I was definitely huffing and puffing, but felt mentally well. I have to say that Prescott, AZ is a great place to train for a marathon. There are so many trails and great places to walk and run. And at 5000 to 6500 feet the lungs are getting a serious workout. 

Overall doing pretty good on food consumption. At two parties this week ate a small amount of dairy (goat cheese my favorite and artichoke dip, help, it was just so yummy.) Today did some nibbling into my daughter's barbecue potato chips. Epiphany for the week: make up my favorite drink in mass quantity. Hardly drank at all on Tuesday and had a major headache. Hard to say why, but realized that I should make up three gallons of my special tea drink so I did. 

Other good news that keeps me going...had a friend tell me how he started running. It was helpful to realize that my lithe friend was once overweight, stressed out and a non-runner. Now the guy runs races regularly including half-marathons. It's that kind of story that keeps me going. The public form can be a great place to break one's interior bounds. That's the English teacher talking: blah, blah, blah. Now the other thing to keep in mind is that I want to be a writer and actually make a living doing it. It is possible. 

So...

next week: 21 minutes of walking and more blogging, that's like jogging but without the boob bounce. And send a query for an article I want to do at the Smithsonian and apply for a freelance writing gig (that I have been afraid to follow up on...) and move into my own office space.

And now for a little levity: from my happy daughter.